Seinfeld
What's the deal with this show about nothing thing?
“It’s about nothing!”
“No story?”
“No, forget the story!”
“You gotta have a story!”
“Who says you gotta have a story? Remember when we were waiting for that table in that Chinese restaurant that time? That could be a TV show!”
I have some things I want to say about Seinfeld. I’m not quite sure how to eloquently articulate these things I want to say, but I’m going to try and say them nonetheless.
Seinfeld! The show about nothing! You’ve probably heard this “show about nothing” moniker in reference Seinfeld at some point. Audiences, critics, and even the characters in the show itself have snarkily referred to the show in this manner.
The above excerpt, taken from a season four episode entitled “The Pitch/Ticket,” comes after Jerry receives an offer from some NBC executives to workshop a sitcom for them. Struggling to think of any ideas for the potential show, he meets with George at their regular coffee shop, Monk’s. In the midst of a pointless conversation about salsa, George remarks that their insipid musings could be the basis for Jerry’s sitcom, that the act of them sitting at a table in a coffee shop talking about how salsa is the most popular condiment in the United States could be a TV show. Thus, the “show about nothing” is born!
It’s a very meta moment, this whole exchange. I can’t help but chuckle every time George says this conversation, the one taking place inside the show I’m watching, could be the basis for a show not to dissimilar from the show I’m watching. This meta-moment, in which Jerry and George reenact a pseudo-representation of a conversation that must have taken place at some point between Seinfeld co-creators Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David (whom George is loosely based on), is also simultaneously very ironic. Here, George and Jerry construct a show about nothing, a show with no story, inside of what is itself a pretty interesting story. I mean, “The Pitch/Ticket” has NBC executives, vomited-on vests, traffic tickets, romance, and intense family drama in a 46 minute double-episode. For a show about nothing, there sure is a lot of nothing to take in here.
Okay then, let’s assume that this is a somewhat irregular episode of Seinfeld. Maybe this episode strays a little bit from the core ethos of the show. Luckily, in his articulation of his brilliant, vapid idea, George makes reference to the time he, Jerry, and Elaine waited for a table at a Chinese restaurant before a movie. Now, this is itself a reference to a season two episode of Seinfeld entitled “The Chinese Restaurant.” For its entire 22-minute runtime, Jerry, George, and Elaine wait for a table at a Chinese restaurant. On its face, this episode should be the very embodiment of that “show about nothing” concept, but I don’t quite think it is! When George first has the “nothing” idea, he makes it very clear that “story” is antithetical to “nothing.”
But just like “The Pitch/Ticket” there are some pretty interesting stories going on here, albeit at a much smaller scale. A lot of the episode revolves around George waiting to use the restaurant’s phone to call his girlfriend so he can let her know what restaurant to meet them at. This sub-plot reveals a lot of George’s character traits, that he’s impatient and insecure while simultaneously possessing a weird superiority complex. The extended down-time of waiting for the table give Jerry and George ample room to dive into the minutiae of George’s relationship with this woman he’s been seeing, and how a mistimed bowel movement caused a schism in the relationship. It’s funny, thoughtful storytelling. I think George’s characterization is best summed up after a woman cuts him in the phone line and he exclaims, in this wild moment of Jokerfication, “You know we’re living in a society! We’re supposed to act in a civilized way!”
Jerry, for his part, spends the episode worrying about missing the post-dinner movie, worrying about the plans he canceled with his uncle ao that he could see the movie, and stressing over trying to remember the name of this woman he recognizes at the back of the restaurant. All of this worrying paints Jerry as a somewhat neurotic person; however, when she finally finishes her meal and comes to greet him on her way out, Jerry acts cool, polite, and accommodating, even though he has no idea who she is. He even makes plans to come see her at her office, despite not knowing what she does. Finally, Elaine comes over and introduces herself, and the woman tells her her name is Loraine. This triggers Jerry’s memory and he realizes that she works with his uncle, that she’ll tell him where he was, and that it’ll cause a lot of family drama. Now, these moments tell us a lot about Jerry’s personality, that he’s a nervous person with a cool exterior, but they also serve as the foundation for a good amount of jokes.
So then, for a show about nothing, a show with no story, there seems to be a lot going on in this episode, even in the confines of the walls of this hallowed Chinese restaurant. There is a story here, and though it might be a little mundane, it’s still a story with its own merits.
I wouldn’t classify Seinfeld as a “show about nothing” in the sense that George speaks of. It doesn’t lack story. In fact, I think it would be quite impossible to make a literal show about nothing, as I don’t think it’s possible for anything to really be about nothing. Things happen all the time, no matter how uninteresting, and the telling of those things amounts to storytelling. Instead, I think Seinfeld’s brand of storytelling is what I would classify as “story averse.” It’s like Seinfeld knows it’s telling a story, but it does so reluctantly, as though its a means to an end (the end being making the audience laugh).
It sometimes takes the form of micro-storytelling, taking what might be a thirty second scene in another show and stretching it to be a full episode, in the case of “The Chinese Restaurant.” In “The Pitch,” the more involved NBC story-line serves to make a meta-mockery of how stupid the show you’re watching is, and how stupid you are for watching it. At the end of the day, Seinfeld only tells you stories to make you laugh. It doesn’t try to instill moral concepts in the audience in the way a show like Full House might. It doesn’t waste time pulling on your heartstrings with gushy moments of romance between its characters like Friends. In fact, it makes fun of that style of storytelling in a bizarre sub-plot in the season nine episode “The Serenity Now” in which Jerry proposes to Elaine, who promptly rejects his outlandish appeal.
Seinfeld is full of these moments, and because it’s a show about nothing, a show that doesn’t focus on its story, a show that only wants to make you laugh, I feel like it’s one of the truest, purest sitcoms out there. Seinfeld doesn’t want to make you cry or think or make you a better person. It wants you to laugh, and it’s damn good at doing it.